Tony Raynor's Blog

The thoughts and ramblings of a small business owner

Sexy Telephone Systems

Fifty Shades of Telephone Man


Her senses were tingling with anticipation as the entry-phone rang. Would it be the answer to her dreams? She checked her crisp white J A E G E R blouse before releasing the door for the anticipated visitor.

Telephone Systems - Diamond Service

Diamond Service

It was him! The telephone systems installer! His appearance was of Ewan McGregor class. From the diamond glint in his eye she was guaranteed that he had experience. It was akin to all of her Diet Coke breaks arriving simultaneously.

His Colgate smile touched her heart immediately. The warm smell of G U C C I Sport aftershave drifted towards her as she shook his manicured hand and prepared for his entry. His gentle touch was the feel of a LA PERLA silk slip. Yet it was strong and as reassuring as HUNTER wellies.

His toolbox was impressive and of Snap-on proportions! She had no doubt that he was superbly equipped and her whole body relaxed with confidence. It was undisputable that he would be able to fulfil her needs in entirety.

Telephone Systems - Tool


When she mentioned an extension he reassured her by saying that she could have it anywhere that she wanted. This was bliss and was going to be so much better than her previous encounters. More similar to a Carlsberg fellow of sorts but with a twist of Heineken. She was sure that he would refresh the parts that lesser men wouldn’t reach!

His demeanour was attentive and he listened carefully to her every word. Then, attentively, he sprung into action as if he was a finely tuned Lamborghini. Muscular and powerful, like the performance car.

His manners were impeccable which was precisely how she liked it. It was reminiscent of flying with Emirates and she savoured the moment. She became flushed in his presence and exited at the satisfaction that she was about to enjoy.

His focus was unparalleled and he knew exactly what buttons to press.  He was not just any telecoms technician, he was one of Abbey Telecom’s finest. She was so glad that she’d picked for her telephone systems and yearned for a subsequent encounter. To be continued …… (please leave a comment to encourage part II)

Telephone Systems Engineer

Handsome Engineers!

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